My Life as a "Stud"

Just found this spoken word via facebook. I think it's really interesting and really deep. Let me know what you think of it. It's a little long but worth it:



For anyone who doesn't know. A 'stud' is a black masculine lesbian.
**EDIT: I decided to add more onto this video just because 4am gives you little sense to think analytically.

I find this identity of being a 'Stud' very interesting. I'm not that familiar with the LGBT community- or familiar enough to know lingo and popular theories about different things but I know that there is a focus on the idea of sex and gender roles.

From what I understand (and someone correct/educate me if i'm wrong), the question is what is a man and what is a woman. There is the sexual difference between male and female, and there is the gender man and woman. The argument is that gender roles are constructed by society: men are aggressive, athletic, hunters, protectors, leaders, etc; women are care givers, sensitive, passive, easily flustered, etc. These are roles that are taught not natural. I think this is an important argument to hone in on because it is counter what many Christians believe. Up until a few months ago, i did not seriously think about the two different mindsets. Scientifically I know the only difference between both sexes are the two chemicals. If a male takes estrogen pills, he develops female parts and features and vice versa. Personally I do believe that there are character differences between men and women that are natural but i do also believe that there are things that we learn to act like. The question is where is that line if there is a line at all?

The discussion of gender and sex is presented in this video. If you have not seen or heard of a stud, it may be hard to grasp what she's talking about. Stud is a term used to describe a group of individuals within the homosexual community. In the white lesbian couple it would be the girl who acted more 'butch' but it goes beyond that. The Stud plays out the male gender role: watches sports, wears the clothes, protects the girl, is a rock. She is the dominant role. So both roles are there, they just so happen to involve two females.

Like I said, i don't know much about the dynamics of the LGBT community, but like the speaker said- a lot of these women do have a past of abuse or harassment or abandonment and I wonder if that is being played out here (Lord knows the black community's family structures are really shaky). The speaker in the video describes the girl that the 'Stud' is with as broken: wanting a masculine figure but not a man. The speaker also described herself during that time as not being comfortable with herself so dressing to try and hide it and be something opposite.

I also found the speaker's definition of choice interesting. The idea that being born in sin opens up the the choice of sin. There will always be a temptation that we will struggle with but it's only acting upon that temptation that makes it a sin. We still have the choice to act on that idea or to run to God with it. idk, it was a revelation that clears up a lot for me and should be noted.

That is all. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing."

Psalm 34:8&9

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned; the Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."

Psalm 34:19-22

Peace be with you.

A Violent Change of Identity

Homosexuality.

This is the topic i have decided to write on, and it's a topic that i'm least excited to talk about. That is not because it isn't interesting or important, but because it's definitely a church breaker. This has been something that i have struggled with, not sexual orientation wise, but faith wise. Where does God stand on homosexuality?
A few months back i prayed for God to put my spirit at rest about this subject, and i believe that He has. Before i tackle the subject I will let you in on the nature of my struggle.

I have many friends in the Church who are uncomfortable around homosexual people and who may use derogatory comments like 'that's Gay'- which is not ok with me. I believe that the best way to allow God to move is to show love to those outside of the church so i do my best to not offend. I also am uncomfortable with advocates against things like gay marriage, the homosexual culture, etc. in the church. I believe that

1. the way the church changes the society that we live in is through prayer and demonstrating Christ-like love
2. Hate is not something of God (however, i also do not believe in hindering an individual's duty as a citizen to vote for things that he or she believes in- that's what democracy is)
3. The thing that we as Christians are fighting against is not man, but Satan. we are part of a spiritual battle, not a physical one- fight accordingly, and
4. Focusing on just one sin- and not even, a majority of homosexual people don't get up and choose to be the way they are- is wrong. homosexuality is not any worse than murder, lying, stealing, greed, etc. everyone- saved or not- are sinners. The only difference is that we recognize our sinfulness and repent from it, constantly.

Because of these beliefs, i put the 'fight' against homosexuality in the same boat as the 'fight' against abortion- a worldly distraction from what God called us to do. the Great Commission wasn't to preserve the faith, but to spread the faith (and to continuously purify in the process).

Unfortunately, we are in a situation now where we need to spread the faith but the faith does not match up with what society deems as 'right'- and that is where my dilemma comes in. Personally, I really wish it did. As a black woman and a Christian I am against the discrimination of any group of people. However, my faith frames what that equality looks like and, therefore, my equality is different from the world's equality.

Where does God stand on Homosexuality.
So what's my Answer?

I could spend a load of time putting up scripture, talking theology, and interpreting certain verses but i'm not going to. Because even though, i believe, the bible is clear on it's stance on homosexuality, people still find things to argue about within those scriptures.

Instead, i will say this:
Christianity is different from other belief systems because in order to practice it properly, you cannot look at as a religion- or even a lifestyle. It is not something that helps me deal with the reality i find myself in. It is not a tradition that has been practiced in my family or in my community for many years. What it is, is an invitation. It is the understanding of the reality that we all live in: God created man to love, man fell away from God- entered sin, God loved us so much anyway that he gave up his son- a part of himself- to save us from our sin, this human manifestation of God died for our sins and rose again, and this process of shedding blood and resurrection created a bridge that connected us, sinful humans, to the holy God. The invitation is for us to Join God's family- Jesus Christ being our older brother and us adopted children of God. The byproduct of taking that invitation is the peace and joy that we have now that we are in God's family but the real prize is, even though we deserve it, salvation from the eternal fire and all that comes from being part of the family that has rule over all things- in short, Grace.

Knowing now, the nature of Christianity, we need to recognize what it means to take that invitation. I take the example of the Rich Young Ruler in Matthew 19. He asked Jesus what it is that he needs to do in order to gain eternal life- as he has already kept the law:

"Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth." (Matthew 19: 21&22)

Jesus knew this young man was rich and he knew that he kept the commandments. However, he made it clear to this rich young man that keeping the commandments were not enough- in order to receive eternal life (the invitation into God's family), one must give up all that he has in this life, for it. People usually look at this scripture to mean physical possessions but i would just bring up that possessions for a rich man is not just things, but an identity. His riches is what makes him, him. That is why he was sad on hearing this, because he knew he would have to give up what came with his riches- maybe a title, respect, certain responsibilities he enjoyed having, in order to have the eternal life God has for him.

Therefore, understand that taking God's invitation shouldn't be done lightly- there is a requirement from us. It is a violent change of who we are- nothing should come before the identity we find in Christ.

It is more than possible to be homosexual and Christian. It is also very possible to, for a time, have no sense of guilt for holding on to this identity and holding on to the Faith. However, if God's word and truth convicts the heart- and that goes for everyone- remember that God does not change for our own glory, we change for God's glory. That is the exchange that we willingly make when we accept God's invitation. If we are going to be part of the Father's family, we have to follow the rules of the house- and His rule is that we leave everything that we are and that we have at the door.

My name is Tabitha. I am a Jamaican, an American, a black woman, a global citizen, an environmentalist, a photographer, a college student, a human rights activist, a heterosexual, but first and foremost I am a follower of Christ. And i would give up all those other things if God wanted me to because his Love is much more worth it.

I do not wish to offend anyone, But i also know that sometimes speaking Truth doesn't come sugarcoated. I encourage all my brothers and sisters to ask God to reveal to them what identity or possession they may have a hard time giving up. Then pray for strength to overcome it.
I'm sorry it was such a long entry, I promise to shorten it next time.

A song before I finish- He loves Us


David Crowder also sings this song in his new album.

Peace be With You,
Tabby <3